THE LONGEST U.S. PRESIDENTIAL RACE EVER (OR FEELS LIKE IT) IS ALMOST OVER

Sketch Me

The U.S. presidential election is a week from Tuesday – and not a moment too soon. But the terrifying part is that Donald Trump has a chance to actually win.

I’ve followed these events since LBJ ran for re-election when I was 12. That seems young, I know, but I was already an active veteran of one Canadian federal election (when Pearson was elected) and one Ontario provincial election (Robarts first re-election). But never in my life have I seen the kind of crap that’s going on in the U.S. right now.

Right off, I should explain that I’m no fan of Hilary’s. I don’t quite trust her but then, I don’t trust any politician in a country where the main qualification is to be rich.

I don’t expect Americans to care about who Canadians want for U.S. President, any more than I care who Americans want for our Prime Minister (President, according to Trump), or even that we were having an election.

Just in case The Donald does win and since a number of Americans have already stated that they would seek asylum in Canada, we should review our refugee policy:

  1. First of all, we would have to consider if we really want to consider Kellie Leitch’s test for cultural values since, in general, American values and attitudes are generally very un-Canadian. Besides, even many so-called left-wing Americans might make good recruits for the Conservative Party should they become Canadian citizens eventually;
  2. If we are going to take some, maybe we should start on with the most obvious: Democrats, those who don’t believe in totally uncontrolled access to firearms, Muslims and, of course, women (at least, those who don’t think, like Trump supporters, that sexual harassment is important).
  3. Are we going to allow those who find that, without the above-mentioned groups to pick on, they find they’re next?
  4. What about all those Americans who find that, with illegal labour removed from the picture, they now have to choose between losing unemployment benefits or doing the low-paid labour like cleaning toilets, picking vegetables, shovelling s**t, or building Trump’s palaces?
  5. How about draft dodgers, when Trump keeps his promises to put all those boots on the ground and those who supported find that their sons have to go and get shot to massage The Donald’s ego (and maybe their daughters, or will they only be allowed to be ‘camp followers’)?
  6. What about Trump himself when such Americans that still survive in his country realize what they’ve done and decide to off him? (Talk about un-Canadian cultural values!)

Anyways, Tuesday night it’s all over but the conspiracy theories, one way or the other. But it wouldn’t hurt to start planning now.

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